Imaginary
by Kandakicksass
Summary: At sixteen, Toby knows that he probably shouldn't be seeing this surreal man, shouldn't hear him, shouldn't feel his touch. He also knows that his imaginary friend is so much more than that. JarethxToby, request for EqualsEquivalent.


Toby had been seeing the man as long as he could remember. He was a strange man, a funny man – sometimes, a frightening one if he was being honest with himself. Still, the man – Jareth – had never hurt him, though as Toby grew up, the blonde did seem to like touching him more and more. He was always being pulled down onto a muscular leg, sitting in his lap, held in strong arms.

"But I'll be there for you, as the world falls down…"

Toby hummed to himself, knowing the words as well as the tune and running them through in his head. Jareth was no more than a figment of his imagination, but he had a lovely voice. He sang to him all the time, sometimes when he thought Toby was asleep, sometimes when he didn't. Toby wrote music, so it wasn't strange for him to be singing unfamiliar lyrics, yet he couldn't remember coming up with any of the tunes Jareth sang. He figured they were just songs that his parents had sung to him as a child. He couldn't ask, though he wished he could. He got the impression that it might have been, however, due to his elder sister and guardian's expression when he'd brought it up. Her face twisted like she was eating a lemon and had stayed like that until he'd dropped the subject, despite the lack of help she'd given him.

"Your math is so _boring_. How do you ever stand it?" The familiar drawl was comforting even if Toby was past the age appropriate to have imaginary friends. Jareth wasn't a normal imaginary friend, though – Toby could see him and touch him and hear him, so he figured that maybe Jareth was just special. Besides, he liked having the man around; he was helpful and witty and he was always available to listen when Toby was upset.

"It's fun," Toby replied absently, pausing in his humming for only a moment. "I like it – it's simple, not opinionated or anything. You have an equation, you solve it."

"Boring," Jareth corrected, but Toby could hear the smile in his voice and glanced over his shoulder at the foreign-looking man lounging on his bed. Jareth wasn't always there, but Toby was rather used to seeing him around often and he wouldn't complain about it. "Come, you infuriating child. To the stars. We could go, right now, but instead you insist on sitting here doing your silly maths. I don't see the point. In the goblin city, no one does maths."

"Your goblins must be rather stupid then, aren't they?"

"No one said they weren't," the goblin king sniffed and Toby had to force down a smile. Jareth was like a child one minute, a wise old man the next. It was almost enough to give him whiplash sometimes, but he wouldn't complain about that, either. "But they don't need to be intelligent to do what I say."

"They do if you want them to do your maths so you don't have to," Toby pointed out with a grin and Jareth's eyes, blue and brown, flashed.

"I don't have maths to do, unlike you," Jareth snapped. "So do them. You're wasting precious time."

"You have nothing but time; you're just being petty," Toby laughed, setting his pencil down. "I'm finished, anyway. But maybe I should teach you math, Jareth. A good goblin king should always know a little math." He paused before dropping onto the bed beside the blonde man and his miss-matched eyes to admire his imagination's handiwork.

He'd always thought that out of all the characters he'd created, this one was the most wonderful. A goblin king with his odd hairstyle and pretty eyes, long limbs and muscular frame. He was a slender man but taller and larger than Toby. His shoulders were wider and he was definitely manlier compared to Toby's fair features.

"I know math," he snorted indignantly. "I just find it a waste of time. _Trigonometry… _ridiculous. A child shouldn't have to deal with such trivial things – no one should."

"I don't think it's so stupid," he said with a shrug, motioning to Jareth to scoot over. The blonde raised an eyebrow and he sighed, crawling over him to lay on the other side of the bed. Jareth caught him before he could move away and he just sighed, letting Jareth pull him into his arms. "And I'm not a child," he added, trying not to pout. "You're always calling me a child. I'm sixteen, Jareth."

"A child to me," Jareth answered, but there was a fond smile on his face. "I've watched you grow up. You will always be a child to me in some ways, Toby." He liked the sound of his name in Jareth's mouth, though he wasn't quite sure why. It was strangely sweet coming from Jareth's mouth.

"Why don't you age?" Toby asked absently, his head on Jareth's shoulder, Jareth's hand stroking his blonde hair, curly and out of control as always. "You look the exact same as you always have."

He felt rather than heard Jareth's chuckle. "I am a goblin king. I will always remain young, like my parents and grandparents before me."

Toby frowned. "You told me your mother is a hag."

"That has more to do with her personality than her appearance," Jareth mused. "Personality-wise, she's just awful, you know." Toby did. He'd created Jareth and his personality and his mother and her personality, too. Not to get cocky, but he was under the impression he'd done a pretty nice job with it, too. "Mm."

"Comfortable?" Toby snorted, but he wasn't really overly upset about being squeezed half to death. Jareth just squeezed a tad harder with a chuckle. "Very."

Toby sighed and snuggled in closer. He liked Jareth, felt safe with him, even if he wasn't sure why. Ever since his parents had died in that stupid car crash that had almost killed him, too, a lot of things had changed, but Jareth wasn't one of them. The goblin king remained, unchanging and beautiful, like a piece of a fairytale. "I don't want to go back to school tomorrow," he mumbled, knowing Jareth would listen. Sarah, while precious and dear to him, never cared about his little dramas. She of course cared when he was upset, but she was always so focused on trying to keep a roof over their heads – which she did pretty damn well as a best selling author – and making sure that he had everything he needed.

"Would that be why you procrastinated doing your homework?" Toby rolled his eyes, but nodded. "What's wrong with it? Last time I checked, you enjoyed your silly little school."

"I do enjoy it! I'm just tired, Jareth," he sighed, resting his chin on Jareth's shoulder to look at him properly. He couldn't explain why he was so comfortable in the blonde's arms, or why his heart seemed to flutter in a way that even his girlfriend of two months – a lovely girl he hadn't spoken to all weekend and was feeling rather guilty about ignoring in order to spend time with Jareth by himself – couldn't manage to make him feel. "It's stupid, you know? It's just that sometimes, I think about how you're right. I mean, what's the point? So I go out, get a job, whatever. It doesn't mean anything." He sighed. "I guess I'm just being whiny. I still really want to be an author, like Sarah, it's just that sometimes I just get really sick of doing the work for it." He gave the goblin king a sheepish grin.

Jareth shook his head. "You are not being 'whiny'. You're being practical. Thinking about your future and all that. Everyone has a moment when they realize that they're going to go out, work, and then die and that there is nothing else _to _do." Toby snuggled closer, listening. "But Toby," he said gently. "It doesn't have to be like that. I would suggest forgetting you ever realized that and just live your life. There are other alternatives to living a meaningless existence, you know. How will you ever know if you just give up?"

Toby blinked at him, then laughed. "That was surprisingly deep, Jareth."

"I can be deep," he hummed, smiling wryly. "Toby…"

"_Toby! Dinner's ready!_"

The sixteen year old sighed, sitting up and frowning at the door. "I'll be back in an hour or so," he grumbled as he climbed over Jareth to get out of bed, disgruntled. He heard the blonde laugh.

"Yes, I am aware," he chuckled, flashing Toby a grin. "Hurry back. I get bored quickly here without you. Nothing to do." Sometimes, Toby wondered why Jareth never came with him – most of his imaginary friends from his childhood followed him everywhere – but he didn't question it. Jareth only came to him when he was alone, and he was all right with that, he supposed.

Dinner was a fairly short affair, even though Sarah actually ate with him for once. She never did that – _never_, because she was always so busy working.

"So, did you get your homework done?"

Fairly safe, as conversation topics went, and Toby knew that she only asked because she had no clue what else to say. He loved his sister dearly, but these past few months, she'd been so busy and he'd been so secluded that they really didn't have much to say to each other. To be honest, Toby hadn't been talking to anyone, not just Sarah. He wasn't sure what was wrong, only that he was enjoying himself more being alone or with Jareth than he did playing around with all of his friends and classmates.

"I got it all done," he answered, taking a bite of chicken. "I really like Trig, you know. It's fun. Not as fun as writing, but, you know, fun." He blushed as he put his foot in his mouth and his sister gave him a grin. He knew how proud she was of his writing, and was glad that he at least seriously enjoyed it instead of doing it just to make her happy like so many other kids got sucked into doing.

"How's Tina?" she asked, searching for more safe conversation. Unfortunately, she caught his slight wince. "What's with the face, Toby? Are you two not getting along?" What an understatement, he thought grimly.

"It's not that. I'm just… I'm thinking about breaking up with her." His tone was so matter-of-fact that Sarah set her fork down, peering at him quizzically.

"Really?" She seemed surprised and he felt suddenly guilty for not telling her anything anymore. He'd been thinking about breaking up with Tiny for a couple weeks now, and the fact that Sarah didn't know that made him feel horrible.

"Yeah," he said, taking another bite of chicken and swallowing. "She's really nice, and pretty and everything. I'm just not really interested. Would it be mean to say I'm bored? I like hanging out, but I don't like being with her the same way she likes being with me. I feel like I'm being rude for holding her back from finding someone who will like her the way I don't."

Sarah nodded, musing over what he'd said. "When did you get so wise?" she settled on with a smile. "I think it's sweet of you to be thinking of her, even if you don't want to be with her anymore." He nodded, finishing his dinner.

"I'm gonna go back up," he announced. He bounced on his feet, feeling restless. Sarah looked so tired, he noticed. There were bags under her eyes that came and went and he hated them. "Unless you'd like me to do the dishes?"

"I would appreciate it if you did." Sarah got up, stretching, and put her plate in the sink. "There's not much there, so I hope you don't mind…"

"No, I'm cool with it," he said with a smile. "You go work; I'll finish up here." She gave him a grateful, tired smile, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been worried that she would insist on doing it herself, as she often did. He remembered being younger and having Sarah play with him, the perfect picture of liveliness. He missed that, sometimes, seeing her so happy and imaginative. Now, her happiness was extended to him and her imagination was sucked up by her novels.

He did the dishes slowly, humming under his breath. He knew Jareth was probably getting irritated upstairs, if only because Toby liked to make him so, but he washed slowly, loading the dishwasher at his own speed.

"What is that tune?"

Sarah sounded hesitant and Toby looked back at her. "Something I made up a while ago," he answered. How does one tell their sister that he's been hanging out with an immortal goblin king who has a penchant for cruelty? Oh, that was right: he knew all about Jareth's escapades. He knew because he'd made him up. He'd seen it happen once or twice, yelling at two strangely familiar little creatures who spoke in grumbling voices that sounded distinctly inhuman, and he'd heard stories from a couple of the goblins. He saw them, too, sometimes, because Jareth had a hard time keeping business away from him. That was all right; he could accept that even his imaginary friends had lives outside of him. He even kind of liked it, sometimes, listening to goblin politics.

He finished the dishes, a little confused. Sarah still stood there, looking conflicted even as he walked over to give her a hug. "I'm going back to my room, okay?"

She nodded, uncertainty in her hazel eyes, more green than brown, watching him as he walked back up stairs.

"That took too long," Jareth complained the minute he walked in and Toby rolled his eyes. "Don't get obnoxious with me, brat. I don't even know why I come here anymore." He'd obviously been pacing, something he often did when unoccupied.

"Because I'm your favorite human?" he suggested with a smile. Jareth snorted.

"You were the only one that ever got away," he responded, but Toby couldn't make sense of what that meant. He paused in his walk to the desk, to check over his homework one more time before putting it away, looking at Jareth curiously. Jareth had a look of surprise on his face, as if he'd said something he didn't mean to. "Don't look at me like that. I won't do anything you say just because you want it. I made that mistake with Sarah, and I won't make it again."

Toby was growing more and more confused as Jareth spoke. "What are you talking about?" he asked and Jareth sighed.

"I can't decide whether I should explain or disappear and fix all of this now," he mused. "I'm rather good at fixing things… or at least, I used to think so."

"Jareth, what do you mean?" he asked, laughing a bit. The goblin king was making no sense.

"What do the words 'you have no power over me' mean to you?" Jareth asked him, coming closer to peer into his blue eyes. Toby's mouth was suddenly dry, unsure of how to answer. He knew the words, of course.

"They're from a story Sarah read when she was younger," he answered slowly. "And she told me that I'm ever in trouble, where I don't know what to do, I should say it."

"Toby," Jareth murmured, his voice deep, his eyes gloriously intense, but once more they were interrupted.

"No, get a_way _from him!"

Jareth wrapped an arm around Toby's waist, pulling him in close, almost protectively. "I think not," he drawled, but his jaw was tight, giving away how on edge he was. Toby blinked at Sarah in confusion, not pulling away from Jareth out of sheer habit. "Toby is mine, Sarah."

"You lost," she hissed, not stepping closer to him. Toby could see the fear in her eyes. "You _lost_, lost him and lost me!"

"Please," Jareth scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself into thinking that you were the end game. You were a distraction and in the end, it doesn't matter, does it? I still have Toby and I'm far happier now than I would have been with you. You humans are so _dull_, but your little brother…" He arranged himself behind Toby's back, pressing against him, leaning down to speak directly into Toby's ear. "Your little brother is anything but."

"You promised," she whispered. "You promised you would give him back to me if I beat the labyrinth."

"Promises were made to be broken," Jareth announced calmly, his voice challenging. "He is too precious. To… beautiful." Delicately, Jareth pressed a kiss to the side of Toby's neck and the boy went still, heat rising in his cheeks.

"No," Sarah choked, her voice breaking on the syllable. "Let him choose, at the very least!" Toby was horrified to see tears in his sister's eyes. He hadn't seen her cry since their parent's funeral – he couldn't just _leave _her here; it would break her heart.

"I can't go," he squeaked, panicked, and broke Jareth's hold, rushing to his sister's side. "I thought you were-"

"A figment of your imagination, yes, I know," Jareth said bitterly. "And I let you think that for my own gain. You would have thrown me out had you known, wouldn't you have? You would have said it, for Sarah's sake." His voice quieted. "You would have turned me away just like she did, but it would have hurt far worse."

"He meant nothing to you," she hissed, gripping her brother's arm tight. Toby wasn't sure what to do.

"He meant everything to me," Jareth snapped. "My heir, practically my child – you were just a bonus."

"So you've said," she allowed coldly. Jareth didn't react other than send one final glance toward Toby.

"He was everything," Jareth said slowly, then pierced Toby with his gaze, filled with emotion. Toby couldn't name a single one. "And he remains so. Toby, should you ever choose again, just call." He glared at Sarah. "You know as well as I that I will run to your side."

"Jareth," Toby choked, but he'd no more gotten his name out before Jareth stepped toward the open window and out of it. He barely saw the owl before the goblin king was gone.

Sarah held him as he cried, suddenly and inexplicably unsure of everything. He cries his frustration into Sarah's shirt.

INSERT LINE HERE

He found himself sitting by the window a month later. Sarah had explained everything to him, told him the whole story, but it hadn't helped his obsession. He must have read her book – kept on the top shelf of her closet since his disappearance – a thousand times, debating every angle, dreaming, yearning.

Sarah didn't know, she could not know, not until it was too late. It would break her heart… but he was already broken. He knew the truth. He also knew that he would not be home until he was there, in the city beyond the labyrinth.

"Jareth," he whispered. Sarah was downstairs, waiting for him to come down for dinner. "I wish that you would come to take me away, right now."

He had barely taken a breath and closed his eyes before a breeze swept in, and strong arms pulled him from the window sill. "You called and I ran." The voice was immediate relief and his entire body relaxed in the familiar embrace.

"Did you move the stars?"

He felt Jareth's smile against the back of his neck. "I move the stars for no one, but the moon is considerably closer to our window at our castle." Toby turned, brushing Jareth's lips with his own. He knew what he wanted.

"Take me away," he whispered. "Before the guilt stops me."

"Doable." Jareth's voice was mere wind around him. He was gone.

INSERT LINE HERE

Time passed in an incredible way. Toby couldn't tell the weeks from the months, the months from the years. He remained, unchanging as a portrait, in the castle beyond the goblin city at his consort's side.

Technically, he was the consort, but it was common knowledge that it was Toby who held the power. Of matters of the state, he had no say, but Jareth would do anything for him and every goblin, fairy, or elf in their lands knew it.

He let out a loud moan, throwing his head back. His hair had grown since he was taken from his home with his sister, a mess of curls, and Jareth fisted them as he tortured Toby's body. He straddled Jareth's waist, his thighs trembling with the effort it took to keep moving, endlessly rocking. Jareth was pleased with him, Jareth wanted him – sometimes, Jareth wanted that same reassurance. He was more than pleased to give it, to prove his loyalty.

"You are exquisite," Jareth murmured, his hips snapping up. His free hand was on Toby's body, holding him, working him into a frenzy. His own hips moved without consent from his mind, but he would have given it had he the time. "You are mine."

He agreed wordlessly, nodding his head fiercely as if that would bring his release any faster. It didn't, but Jareth liked his agreement. "Need you," Toby gasped.

"Indeed you do," he responded in a growl, rolling them over and burying himself in the tight, hot confines of Toby's body. "Mine," he repeated, his voice both a purr and a growl, threatening and arousing. Toby would always obey this voice, just as it would always obey him.

"Yours!"

He came, dirtying Jareth's body and his sheets. _Their _sheets. The goblin king collapsed next to him, automatically reaching to pull him close. "Love me."

"I love you," he agreed. Then, softly, he added, "You're not imaginary." He was anything but, actually. The blonde smiled at him, opening his mouth, but Toby just shook his head and snuggled closer. "I thought, for so long, that I made you up." He shook his own head in amusement. "Pathetic, I know. I thought you were there because I need you to be, and that one day I would outgrow you and forget you. I thought that I would wake and you would be gone." It had been a constant thought back then, nagging, in the back of his mind. As much as he trusted Jareth, he hadn't trusted himself half as much. Now, of course, he knew he'd been ridiculous. If Jareth was nothing else, he was real. Fantastical and incredible, but real.

"But I never left," Jareth finished. "I never left and watched you with those silly humans that would never mean as much to you as I could. I watched over you, made sure you were safe." He paused. "I never meant to hurt you or Sarah. Despite myself, I never wanted that." He sounded almost _guilty._

Toby nodded, too tired to argue even if he had wanted to. "I know you didn't," he slurred. It was so hard to keep his eyes open. Was that Jareth's fault, or that of their lovemaking? "I needed you. I still need you." His words were difficult to force out. "I think I always will."

"You can sleep, you lovely little thing." Jareth called him that often, though Toby had yet to figure out why. In his opinion, Jareth was so much more attractive than he was, so much more fascinating, wonderful…

"I don't want to sleep," Toby yawned, delaying the inevitable. "I want to talk to you. We talk every night."

"But not tonight," Jareth murmured. "Tonight you must rest." He shook his head, determined, but his eyes closed anyway. "You're tired, Toby. You should sleep." He brushed blonde curls out of his eyes. "I was too rough with you tonight." He didn't sound regretful – no, he actually sounded _pleased_ with himself. Well, Toby had enjoyed himself so he wouldn't complain.

"Sleep," Toby whispered, and Jareth nodded.

"Yes," he agreed, sounding almost amused. "Sleep."

Toby yawned, and nodded in return. "I'm very tired," he whispered. Jareth stroked his hair, playing with it.

"As you should be." Toby let Jareth's fingers sooth him to unconsciousness.


End file.
